it’s a full year since i last blogged.
a year! it is truly terrifying how the pace of time gets faster and faster with age. i remember talking about it with my grandmother, when i was still in my teens….. young enough to think that time went on forever, but getting old enough to notice that time was seeming to go past quicker. my grandmother told me that it didn’t stabilise. time just continued to whizz by, faster and faster and faster. i did believe her, but i was too young to appreciate the horror of what she was saying.
it’s only now, on the downward side of 50, that the full reality is beginning to hit. days, weeks, months – years, even: blink and they’re gone. pink floyd said it to me around the same time as my grandma: ‘no one told you when to run/you missed the starting gun’. and teenage me said ‘oh! that is so profound… i know exactly what they mean….’ and carried on frittering away time as if a limitless supply was available.
and here we are again. it’s a full year since i last blogged.
life seems to have got in the way considerably. i’ve been renovating a semi-derelict flat: initially with a view to renting it long term, but more recently with the crazy idea of offering it as a holiday let. it’s on a very average street in the middle of a very average town, but it’s also very close to loch lomond, which isn’t average at all. if you only want a base to come back to after a day exploring, it’s perfect. no reason why it can’t work…. but it’s been renovation on an absolute shoestring, with me and my husband doing most of the work ourselves – and he already works full time, so really it’s been mainly me. and it’s taken up the full year…. but we’re almost ready to advertise!
meanwhile, writing has suffered. and so has walking. i’ve not really had time to commit to any big ventures – or wee ones. but i got a poem published in Northwords Now – the best thing i’ve ever written, i think. and The Dawntreader also published a couple more. and hope, like the season, is springing….
soon, i’ll have more time to myself. soon, i’ll have more time to write. soon, i’ll do something with the half-written poem i scribbled about a year ago. i know it needs tweaked and polished, because it’s more or less the first draft, but i kind of like it the way it is. maybe it is finished. maybe tinkering around with it is a waste of time….